keeping the dreams alive

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Pink – Perfect (Boyce Avenue acoustic cover)

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Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Always second guessing
Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me

You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you same

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing

You’re fuckin’ perfect to me
The world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, fuckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re fuckin’ perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less then, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you’re fucking perfect to me


Buy this song on iTunes from now till end of March and all proceeds will go to help victims of the Japan earthquake.


Written by Jasmine

March 16, 2011 at 10:43

Posted in , Lyrics, Music

Commencement 2011

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Second year in college. So, how does that feel? There are times I feel a little too old for college, particularly when I never had a college experience till I started my PhD actually. Yet, there are other times, I feel absolutely thankful to have college friends around. I may not be in all events, mostly going MIA actually. But, I’ve made a few good friends, particularly one.

Good company. Rather good food. Lots of big band dancing, with the guys that I never did think could dance that well (I can’t dance well either). Lots of spins and twirls.

Thank you Mushi for being there last night, and for always being there when I needed her. I was feeling a little down after the dinner when we headed out for more partying. Alcohol certainly didn’t help. Isn’t it strange that the closest friend I have in Canberra where I can tell her anything and everything without being judged is a med student? Funny isn’t it how what seemed like a fun night could lead to one where I just broke down in tears?

For now, it’s back to a lifestyle of no more alcohol and healthy food. Looking forward to being good! Two weekends of alcohol after two months of no alcohol was enough. So was the macca’s meal I had last night (after many months of not eating macca’s!)

On another note, I hope people around me would stop commenting that I have lost a fair bit of weight. Everyone who has seen me recently are telling me that, so much so it’s freaking me out a little. I still want to lose another 5 to 6kg. I have just been eating healthily and been mostly on my diet. I still have my three square meals, eating badly at times. However, the weight has coming off and fluctuating a little. I suppose that’s normal, especially when you are in the normal weight range. I am guessing that the operation to remove the dermoid tumour did help get my hormones back to normal, which probably explains why the weight is coming off. I was gaining a fair bit of weight last year, and found it hard to lose them which was probably partly due to bad eating as well as the hormones that went haywire. So, just let me be?

Written by Jasmine

March 6, 2011 at 00:26

Goals for 2011

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I took one month to post this up. I’ve just been busy with moving and uni. But, 2011 has been awesome so far. I’m at peace with myself, and have been fairly focused on getting what I want. Anyway, here are my goals for 2011, which I’m keeping it simple. I have not bothered making travel plans as a goal because they are definitely in the pipelines.

Goals for 2011

1. Lose weight

I’ll be happy if I lose another 8kg between Feb and Dec. I have actually lost 1.7kg since the start of Jan 2011. I currently weigh the same as I was in January 2010, which is within the normal weight range. I am pretty pleased with the fact that I managed to lose the 7.5kg I gained from Jan to Sep 2010. I feel good. That’s what matters.

2. Get at least7 hours of sleep

I was surviving on too little sleep last year, which resulted in accidents, crankiness and so on. I’ve been sleeping fairly well these days, averaging around 7 to 9 hours a night. I like it this way because I feel really refreshed and awake the next day. So, let’s keep it this way for the rest of 2011. 🙂

3. Start running

I stopped running in the second half of 2010. Now that the operation is done and dusted, I am trying to slow get back into the routine of running, and hopefully run my second half marathon by the end of 2010. I won’t make running a half marathon a goal, since I really just want to get my fitness back. I don’t want to be putting too much unnecessary pressure on myself.

4. Stay focused on the PhD – finish my first paper, get started on my second paper.

Yes, that’s the goal. I want to finish one paper every nine months, in order to finish by PhD in June 2013. Research can be frustrating at times. But, I do like the kind of learning I am doing. More importantly, I realise that I like in depth research much better than coursework, something I realised since second semester 2010. This is a goal I would like to place focus on. That will probably mean working on Saturdays and Sundays.

5. No unnecessary shopping – especially clothes!

I have enough clothes to last me for a few years. So, I won’t be needing any other clothes. For the first time in my life, I saw myself going on an online shopping frenzy in 2010. I was stressed out, and was literally shopping online every other day. The end result? I ended up with a huge box (think Dell computer box) of unworn new clothes that I am currently giving away. Most of the clothes still have their tags on. That’s what stress did to me.

6. Save and earn money.

I’ve taken another look at my finances, and have drawn up a new plan to save whatever I can from my fortnightly stipends. Honestly, there isn’t much I can save. But, I would still like to attempt saving at least 5 to 10% of each fortnight’s stipend. Currently, around 60% of my fortnightly stipend goes to the rent. Yes, that’s how expensive rent is in Canberra.

Hence, that brings me to another relevant goal – get a job and earn money. I’ve submitted a few applications within university, and really want to have a casual job that gives me some work for 7 hours or so a week. Money will make things better. In case you are wondering, it isn’t easy to get a tutoring job here. It’s tough to survive without money.

7. Placing health at the top of the priority list

After last year’s health frenzy, I am working on having my health in tip top condition this year. This implies more sleep, healthier food (less sugar, less carbs, more proteins), and less stress. That should do the job. So far, it has been relatively good! Whatever it is, health is at number 1 priority together with the PhD.

8. Focus on self

This year will be one where I am comfortable with myself, particularly with myself in Canberra. I am gradually getting accustomed to Canberra. In 2011, I want to be placing focus on myself, and just work on myself and the things I want to pursue.


Written by Jasmine

January 31, 2011 at 23:33

Posted in About Me, , Goals

Happy moment defined.

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Triggy-happy moment


Realising you’ve truly moved on.

I was able to chat with someone over skype calmly, and actually wishing him well from the heart . Not just anyone, but someone I used to like, fooled and hung around with, but broke my heart.

Written by Jasmine

January 17, 2011 at 01:26

Posted in , Happy moments

with 2 comments

It scares me so much when I realise I have no one in this world I can turn to when I need help.

What’s the point of living then?


Written by Jasmine

October 27, 2010 at 01:25

Posted in , Canberra-ed

my heart breaks

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My heart breaks.

over many things.

that I can’t seem to explain how I feel anymore.

perhaps I don’t even want to explain or express how I feel anymore.

Written by Jasmine

October 14, 2010 at 23:45


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Here I am writing my Economics Seminar essay, with the tv tuned to GEM just for the noise. Coincidentally, the movie “The Mexican” is on, bringing up the past in a funny way. It’s been nearly ten years since that movie was first screened. I remember watching it with him. While watching the movie, we talked about this quote from the movie.


If two people love each other, but they just can’t seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?


Isn’t it strange how things are turning out?

Written by Jasmine

October 11, 2010 at 00:27

Posted in About Me,