keeping the dreams alive

penning it down.

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Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.

– Grey’s Anatomy

It has become increasingly difficult for me to pen down my feelings in this little space I call my own. There’s so much on my mind.

Am I such a terrible friend? I really want to talk to someone who understands me, but find it hard to approach the friends I call friends because no one likes to hear others out. It is increasingly difficult to find someone to have a meaningful conversation with.

I’m getting tired of being the person who’s there for everyone else – whether they need to borrow a 100 dollars that hasn’t been returned yet, need cash every now and then, to buy them cigars, to be the one his mom call from Singapore to search for her son,…

But, I am happy to have coffee with you, you, you and you or just about anyone I call my friend, tell me what’s bothering you and all.

At the end of the day, what’s even more disappointing is to always seem to be the center of attention for the wrong reasons. At the Sunday dinner today where I made a rare appearance, I couldn’t believe myself when I heard him ask “So, did you find another new sugar daddy?” They went on and on. It may be a joke to you, but it isn’t to me, not when there are several new residents at the table, who were probably thinking if this girl in question here is a slut.

disappointing, really disappointing.

just yet another reminder that we are all alone at the end of the day. never depend on anyone but yourself. never ever.

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Written by Jasmine

February 27, 2011 at 22:51

Posted in About Me, Friendship

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