keeping the dreams alive

overwhelming emotions

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Through 2010, I never really had the chance to sit down, have leisure time and reflect. Perhaps I was never in the mood to reflect as well. As I sat down this evening and thought about all that happened in the past eleven months, tears just started to roll down the cheeks. I find myself getting overwhelmed with emotions and all that I have gone through this year.

I thought about: Arunas, the fooling around, the subsequent heart-break, the desire to be loved and to have some sort of companionship, the accidents/incidents, the health problems that are still waiting to be settled, the operation, the good results in Semester 2 after the atrocious ones in Semester 1,…

Tears just flow. Time is wonderful and does heal things. But, I know that leap of faith will never return.

Anyway, it’s a brand new week. Things I am looking forward to this week:

1. Post-op review on Thursday – I can’t wait to see my doctor on Thursday for post-operation and to check on the wounds from the operation. My fingers are crossed that the wounds are not infected. I was told the removal of something like what I did often result in infections because of the nature of things. I would like to ask her why have I gained 2.6kg right after my operation (yes pre-op morning weight, and day after op weight). Did they really pump that much CO2 into me? I don’t feel as bloated anymore, although I do still look bloated from the mirror. But, the weight is still there! 😦

2. Getting back on my diet. – I’ve allowed myself to eat what I want post-op, with the exception of food that I can’t touch. Well, I haven’t exactly gorged, given that I haven’t got any appetite, feeling bloated. But, I have consumed some carbohydrates, more than I usually would. Well, I am determined to lose some weight, before the year ends in 4 weeks and in 2011 as well! I’ll get back to the weight I got to in 2009. I am thankful I didn’t gain a hell lot of weight this year.


Written by Jasmine

December 6, 2010 at 04:05

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